Divorce Catoosa Oklahoma

Something occurred to me a few days back that actually made me consider the significance of living. When I say living, I mean capturing, enjoying and enjoying minutes versus hurrying through life like most of us do. I mean Slow Down. Big. Time. And, this idea is especially significant during your divorce.
Here is what happened to me personally. I began my day around 5:30am, drinking coffee and working, somewhat relaxed and peaceful. But, when 7am came about, it was time to start making lunches, getting the children ready for college, doing dishes, cleaning the home, etc.. It’s kind of like the rifle goes off in that time and the race begins.
Once I dropped off the kids at their schools, I headed to the gym to squeeze in a fast workout. I also decided to drop a check off to somebody there–figured I’d get that job off my list. While practically running into the exercise area where my buddy was, I ended up tripping over a person’s hand weights and falling in front of about 40 girls who were about to start a fitness course.
I go flying in the atmosphere and land onto a tough, gym floor in my knees. The fall (particularly my knees hitting the floor) was so loud that when I appeared, I had been surrounded by a group of women asking if I wanted them to phone an ambulance!
By some miracle, I felt OK. My knees are seriously bruised, my body aches somewhat and I’m a bit shaky still, but all in all, I must thank God that it was not worse. He was really looking out for me, and I believe giving me a warning to slow the heck down!
The whole experience made me realize how in a hurry I’m every minute of every day. Like so many girls I know, we are all attempting to manage work, kids, our home, errands, and a social life, relationships, working out, etc.. And then perhaps, just maybe we might have some free time to get something for ourselves.
I asked myself, when was the last time that I read a book in the tub? When was the last time I binge watched TV or movies while lying on the couch all day? When was the final weeklong holiday I took? Probably over a decade and a half–except for its TV binge watching.
I am in no way feeling sorry for myself. I have a GREAT life. But time is going by so quickly, and the bucket list is still quite long.
I discover that hurrying through life happens when folks are going through a divorce, too. Women and men that are experiencing shock and anger and bitterness and resentment tend to earn their divorce their entire world. They are rushing to talk to their attorney, rushing to inform their friends stuff their ex did, rushing to look at attorney motions and judgements and emails and fees. Rushing because it is their world and it is their top priority. I am not judging. Trust me.
A divorce can become your whole life. It can consume you. It can cause you to feel like nothing else is happening–just your broken heart, your kids’ pain and your asshole ex who just ruined your life. That is the mindset.
So what I want to talk about are a few strategies to actually enjoy life. My advice goes to people like me, and also individuals going through a divorce. Here it is.
Every single day, it’s important to find and acknowledge moments which are meaningful. Perhaps it’s your child’s laugh, perhaps it’s that yummy cup of coffee you enjoyed this morning, maybe a cute guy noticed you, maybe you had a really great talk with your mother, or perhaps you looked up in the sky and it seemed really very pretty. These are all gifts that individuals who have so much on their mind sometimes dismiss. Slow down and stop ignoring them! Pay attention.
Instead of focusing on what exactly went wrong–that call you got from the attorney, or finding out you owe a lot more in your credit card than you ever believed, or putting in your favorite pair of jeans and they’re really snug, or even how pissed you’re that your ex is already blissfully happy in his new connection (which trust me, he isn’t and if he is it’s only temporary), then consider focusing on the great. What went RIGHT now? What are you grateful for? I promise there are millions of things such as this. Let yourself see them and appreciate them.
About six months back, I began a ritual that I think has helped me tremendously. Every morning when I wake up, until I get out of bed, I speak to God about what I am thankful for. I do it every single day. It is a way to begin my afternoon focusing on the positives, instead of the stresses that will come as the afternoon goes on.
It’s funny.
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it,” says Matthew Broderick in the beginning and at the end of the film. Actually, that entire movie is all about enjoying the little pleasures that life has to offer. I would strongly recommend this movie to anyone going through a divorce!
In closing, I understand your divorce is horrible. I know you can’t get through a day without crying. I know you’re resentful and considering the past and about how all of your ex wants to do is screw you financially. But average divorces require several months to a few years. The option is yours. Think it over and try not to trip on anyone’s hand weights!
Jackie Pilossoph is the creator of her website, Divorced Girl Smiling. Oh, and she is divorced.
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