Divorce Tulsa Oklahoma

Something occurred to me a few days ago that really made me think about the significance of living. While I say alive, I mean shooting, enjoying and appreciating moments versus rushing through life like most of us do. I mean Slow Down. Big. Time. And, this idea is especially important during your divorce.
Here is what occurred to me. However, when 7am came about, it was time to start making lunches, getting the kids ready for school, doing dishes, cleaning the home, etc.. It’s sort of like the rifle goes off at that time and the race starts.
Once I dropped off the children at their colleges, I headed into the gym to squeeze in a quick workout. Additionally, I made a decision to drop a check off to somebody there–figured I’d get that task off my list. While practically running to the workout room where my buddy was, I ended up tripping over a person’s hand weights and falling in front of about 40 girls who were about to start a fitness class. Embarrassing as hell, but that was the least of my concerns.
I go flying in the atmosphere and land onto a hard, gym floor on my knees. The fall (particularly my knees hitting the floor) was so loud that when I appeared, I had been surrounded by a group of girls asking when I wanted them to phone an ambulance!
By some miracle, I felt OK. My knees are badly bruised, my body aches somewhat and I am a little shaky still, however all in all, I have to thank God that it wasn’t worse. He was really searching for me, and I believe giving me a warning to slow down the hell!
The whole experience made me understand just how in a hurry I am every minute of each day. Like so many women I know, we are all attempting to manage work, children, our house, errands, and a social life, relationships, working out, etc.. And then perhaps, just maybe we might have some free time to get something for ourselves.
I asked myself, when was the last time that I read a book in the bathtub? When was the last time I binge watched TV or movies while lying on the couch all day? When was the last weeklong vacation I took? Probably more than a decade and a half–except for the TV binge viewing.
I am in no way feeling sorry for myself. I have a fantastic life. But time is going by so quickly, and the bucket list is still very long.
I discover that rushing through life occurs when people are going through a divorce, too. Men and women that are having shock and anger and bitterness and resentment have a tendency to earn their divorce their entire world. They are hurrying to talk to their attorney, hurrying to tell their buddies things their ex did, rushing to look at attorney motions and judgements and emails and charges. Rushing because it is their universe and it’s their top priority. I’m not judging. Trust me.
A divorce could become your whole life. It can cause you to feel as nothing else is going on–only your broken heart, your children’ pain and your asshole ex who just ruined your life. That’s the mindset.
So what I wish to talk about are a few strategies to actually enjoy life. My advice extends to people like me, and also individuals going through a divorce. This is.
Each and every day, it is important to discover and acknowledge moments that are meaningful. Perhaps it’s your kid’s laugh, perhaps it’s that yummy cup of java you enjoyed this morning, maybe a cute man noticed you, maybe you had a really great talk with your mother, or perhaps you appeared in the sky and it seemed really very pretty. These are all gifts that people who have so much in their mind occasionally dismiss. Slow down and stop ignoring them! Pay attention.
Rather than focusing on what exactly went wrong–that call you obtained from your lawyer, or finding out you owe a whole lot more on your credit card than you ever thought, or putting in your favourite pair of jeans and they’re quite comfortable, or even how pissed you’re that your ex is currently blissfully happy in his new connection (which trust me, he is not and if he’s it is only temporary), try focusing on the great. What went RIGHT now? What are you thankful for? I guarantee there are countless things like this. Let yourself see them and love them.
Approximately six months back, I started a ritual that I believe has helped me tremendously. Each morning once I wake up, before I get out of bed, I talk to God about the things I am thankful for. I do it every single day. It’s a way to begin my afternoon focusing on the advantages, instead of the stresses that will come as the afternoon continues.
It’s funny. Last night, my daughter was seeing the movie, “Ferris Buehler’s Day Off.”
If you do not stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it,” says Matthew Broderick in the beginning and at the conclusion of the movie. Actually, that whole movie is all about enjoying the little pleasures that life has to offer.
In closing, I understand your divorce is dreadful. I know you can’t get through a day without crying. But typical divorces require several months to a few years. Do you wish to invest that time living your divorce or living your life? The choice is yours. Think it over and try to not trip on anybody’s hand weights!
Jackie Pilossoph is the creator of her website, Divorced Girl Smiling. The author of her novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationship column, Love Basically, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press. Oh, and she is divorced.